The truth is knocking on me to reveal this.

This is going to be extra small because I really hope it could be non-existence. That is as denial as I would like to be unfortunately it exist so let me face the truth in a tiny way (yes i do recall memories once in awhile no matter how much I don't want to or not suppose to.)

It's been too long I can't remember when things happen, but I remember it's a Christmas day when I'm very eager to just celebrate the magical moments together in each other's arm.
It did not happen, I was left alone just waiting. That was when I decided not to wait anymore.
I have loved you but I knew I had to let you go. There will not be any happy union if we head different directions. It just brings us further -apart-
Sometimes I would wonder do you really mean those hurting words you said to me which made me so resentful.
I chose not to doubt for me to keep hating you so that I could kept staying away from you.
Back then I didn't know that I'm that strong to look into your eyes, say goodbye and drove away from you.
My tears did not hold back but at least I manage to walk out of your door.
I resent all the things you did to me but I choose to let go and remember just the sweet memories.
In a way you helped me grow and toughen up. I should be grateful. You made me who I am.
It's your birthday today, I spend some hours reminisce all the things we use to do.
All the laughter we use to share and all the gifts I gave you shyly from my heart. Our smiling face which shows happy we are.
Every time my thoughts strays, I stop. This would be all I want to remember.
If you asked me if could be friends again? I would say no because I do not think that I can do it. I can only love or hate you.
Weird but that's how far it has brought me. I don't think I could have even your shadow back in my life.
Some will tell me, "f*ck it, he's a shithead anyway, who needs him in any body's life?"
I use to have that thought as well (sorry) but I don't think that's any point being so resentful anyway.
We only have one life. Guess that I need to spend this life giving you the privilege to be that peculiar person whom I've love, hate and never want to see ever again. But again I would secretly want to let you know you mean alot to me at one point of my life and do wish that you found your happiness too.

-Happy Birthday-

Let It Flows

Its a dream
You take up your instrument
Close your eyes..
the more you picture
you admire
you start to feel them

It flows
you smile because the picture become so clear
its as if they're right in front of you

it keeps flowing
a beauty that you never want to let it go
you grasp every single line
you slide on every single curve
even the dots matter

when you can picture something so vividly
its a feeling from within
it comes
you grasp every details and moments
and it goes
so let it flows through

its almost like your in love
when the inspiration flows..

The hands of time

Certain memories are created without you knowing
Certain details in life could be so important that if it does not happen you will never be who you are today
Certain moments can only happen once
Certain faces are those who brings in the sun without the rain
And some are just there to make you realise life isn't a bed of roses all the time
For no man is an island
there shall be much more to come by in time
Some people change you
And at some point without you knowing you change them too
Relationship between people is how faith plays a funny function in the cross path of our everyday
As the hands of time moves i realise each and everything we went through is worth something no matter what end it leads to